


You fit me better than my favorite sweater

by dandelion hands (CaPTiViTY)



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Crush, Crushes, M/M, Texting, also story, bc wade, deadpool just wants to make his baby boy happy, mentions of mental illeness, peter doesn't like guns, petnames
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-11
Updated: 2017-01-11
Packaged: 2018-09-16 21:30:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9290387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaPTiViTY/pseuds/dandelion%20hands
Summary: Peter Parker can't sleep and Deadpool's number is literally on Wikipedia. What is an arachnid to do but to text the guy who's a pain in his ass?





	

**Author's Note:**

> Some spideypool bc the spideypool kiss at the golden globes made me all gooey inside :)

Peter, like every night, couldn't sleep. He usually patrolled all through the night. In fact, he did it so often that he'd gotten used to barely sleeping at all. Now he couldn't even get some shuteye when there _wasn't_ any Spider-man business to attend to!

Luckily, reading random articles on wikipedia formed a nice distraction. He clicked from page to page, ending up at some pretty questionable subjects that he probably shouldn't be looking at. He wasn't sure how he ended up on the 'Deadpool' page. There wasn't much to say about the merc, just when he started appearing and that he was considered a criminal.

There was also a phone number. Peter was almost certain Deadpool had put it there himself. Who else would put it on wikipedia, of all websites? Someone who wanted another person dead probably didn't go on this particular website to find a mercenary. Plus, if the police or something found out, Peter was pretty sure the number would be gone in a blink.

Shaking his head to himself, he grabbed his phone. He hadn't put any thought in actually using the number until the moment he did that, but he was already making a new contact. It didn't occur to him until after he'd done that, that the number could be fake – wikipedia could be altered by anyone, after all – but by then he was already typing a short text.

[Is this Deadpool? -SM]

_[yeppers u samuel]_

[Uhmmm no?]

_[oh]_

_[then who tf is this]_

Peter was about to send back 'This is Spider-man' when he thought better of it.

[I have to know you're really Deadpool first.]

_[…]_

_[so ask me sth then]_

_[idk how to prove im me]_

Well, Peter sort of hit a wall there. How  _was_ this person supposed to prove they were Deadpool? Peter didn't know a whole lot things about the mercenary. Certainly nothing he was sure other people wouldn't know, either. He let out a slow sigh, breathing in deeply through he nose first, and shook his head.

[Nevermind.]

_[whatevs]_

* * *

“Heya, Spidey-boy!” Deadpool said happily, sitting down next to Spider-man on the edge of the roof. The arachnid was watching the city with a sullen expression. Not that anyone would see it. He could look really dumb and it would be all the same to the merc. Still, it felt appropriate.

“Hi, Deadpool.”

“What're you up to?” Deadpool asked, dropping a box of pizza between them. Spider-man wasn't sure where Deadpool had kept it before now, but maybe he just hadn't been paying attention? He wasn't exactly looking at the merc, after all.

“Not much. The city's quiet tonight,” Spider-man answered, shaking his head at the pizza piece Deadpool held out to him. He wasn't sure if the mercenary would have poisoned it, after all.

“Yeah, I noticed that. I can make some trouble if you want!” Deadpool offered, pulling up his mask as little as possible before taking a bite. This was really the first time Spider-man saw any part of Deadpool's skin, and he couldn't help but look at the scars that were now exposed. When Deadpool noticed him, he quickly looked away.

“Don't make trouble, I like the quiet.”

“Me too, actually. The boxes get calmer when it's quiet.”

“I thought they got louder.”

“It depends on the kind of quiet, really,” Deadpool explained. “It's like, when I'm at my apartment, right? I'm used to like, gunshots and people yelling and stuff, so it goes quiet and the boxes are all like 'I bet this person is dead' and 'Did we kill them?' and then they go on to list the people I killed and the things I've done and sometimes they just won't fucking shut up until I have to blow my brains out, but then other times when I'm somewhere peaceful the quiet really helps.”

“Oh,” Spider-man nodded. “Okay.”

“You know, usually when we hang out the boxes get real silent. Like they aren't there at all!”

Spider-man smiled beneath his mask. “I'm glad.”

There was a moment of silence between them. Deadpool happily ate his pizza while Spider-man kept watching the city. Deadpool was chewing on the last piece when the arachnid remembered what he'd done last night, and turned to Deadpool.

“Hey, did you get any texts last night?”

Deadpool raised an eyebrow. Unlike Spider-man's own mask, his actually showed his face-movement. “Y'know I'm not exactly Mr. popular, Webs.”

“So no texts at all?”

“I wouldn't say that.” Deadpool shrugged. “This guy just asked me to prove I was Deadpool and then fucked off when I told him I couldn't, but like, how'm I supposed to prove shit?”

“S M?” Spider-man asked.

“Huh?”

“Did the guy send his first text signed with 'SM'?”

“Yeah,” Deadpool said, the white spots where his eyes were supposed to be narrowing. “How'd you know?”

“Because I texted you,” Spider-man said. “I couldn't sleep and I might have ended up on your wikipedia page...”

“My number's still on there?” Deadpool asked, sounding excited. “Awesome! I thought it would've been removed by now... Wait, you texted me?” The excitement turned into genuine confusion. “Why?”

“I don't know. You can be pretty amusing and I was bored.”

Deadpool placed his hand to his chest, making a gasping sound. “I can be amusing? That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me!” Cue fake crying. “I love you too, Spidey!”

“Okay, yeah,” Spider-man stood. “I shouldn't have said anything. I'm gonna head home now, bye Deadpool.”

“Bye Spider-man!” Deadpool called after him in a sing-song voice as he swung away. Spider-man rolled his eyes but for once, he wasn't actually that annoyed.

* * *

_[u awake]_

Peter was actually on the brink of falling asleep when his phone buzzing brought him back to full awareness. He groaned and rolled onto his side, grabbing his phone off the bedside table and squinting at the bright screen when he turned it on. Of course Deadpool would bother him now that he had his number. Peter shouldn't have said anything. Or maybe he just shouldn't have texted the merc in the first place.

[I am now.]

_[good!]_

_[that means we can chat]_

_[wassup spidey]_

Peter wasn't sure why he replied at all, but he was awake now, so did it really matter?

[Not much. I'm in bed.]

_[kinkyyyy]_

[Shut up.]

_[yknow id say im gonna jack off to the thought of u in bed but idk what u look like and honestly imagining a guy in a supersuit in bed isnt that stimulating]_

[I'm actually glad.]

_[well im not]_

[Too bad.]

_[send nudes????]_

[No.]

_[yea i figured]_

Peter, despite feeling like he should be annoyed, smiled. He would have thought Deadpool would whine about wanting pictures for at least another minute, but here he was simply moving on from the subject.

_[wanna play a game]_

[That really kind of depends on what kind of game.]

_[send each other close up pics of objects without the other being able to see what it is n we have to guess]_

[… You won't send me a dickpic or anything, right?]

_[scouts honor]_

[Were you ever a scout?]

_[no but i was in the army n theyre basically boyscouts]_

_[well not rlly]_

_[but yknow]_

[Okay fine. You first.]

_[gimme a sec]_

Peter put his phone to the side and sat up in bed, flicking on the small light that stood next to him. His TV was still on, since he was trying to fall asleep by watching boring late-night shows, so he started flicking through channels until his phone buzzed again.

The picture was blurry but showed something metallic-looking and red. Peter would have almost said it was Iron Man's suit, but how would Deadpool have gotten any part of Iron Man's suit? Unless he was making trouble, of course, but would he really have time to text in that case?

[It's not Iron Man's suit is it?]

_[nope]_

_[u can try again bc im so nice]_

[I've honestly got nothing.]

It took a few seconds until Deadpool answered, and it was again with a picture. This time, when the picture loaded, Peter was faced with a crushed cola can.

[Smart.]

_[ur turn]_

Peter tried not to think on it too long. He was wearing green flannel pajama pants, so he brought the camera of his phone as close to the material as he possibly could and snapped a picture. Sending took about a minute, because his wifi sucked, but Deadpool seemed baffled, the small dots that indicated he was typing appearing and disappearing multiple times.

_[is it a plant]_

[No.]

_[are u nice]_

[Yes you can guess again.]

[Let's just keep it at we have three guesses each turn?]

_[sounds good okay lemme think]_

_[it's a stuffed toy]_

[Nope :P]

_[socks???]_

[They're my pajamas.]

[ _gasp]_

_[spidey wears anything other than his supersuit???!!!]_

_[im honestly shocked]_

Peter chuckled.

[Yeah well don't tell me you just hang around looking like Deadpool all day.]

_[actually]_

_[sometimes]_

_[depends on my mood]_

[Oh.]

_[okay lemme send a pic]_

[Actually is it okay if I go try and sleep now?]

_[oh yea sure]_

Peter hesitated, unsure if he should just say goodnight and be done with it, or if he should add something. He felt suddenly rude for wanting to end the conversation.

[We should do this again, sometime. Goodnight Deadpool.]

_[goodnight spidey-pie xx]_

* * *

Peter really wasn't planning on making talking to Deadpool too much of a regular thing, but soon that's exactly what it became. He found himself constantly grabbing at his phone to look at and send pictures

Today, though, he was pointedly ignoring the thing. He had to write an essay. College really sucked.

Nearing the end of the day, he finally couldn't take it anymore. He grabbed his phone, opened the camera, zoomed in on the text of his assignment and took a picture. It wasn't exactly readable, but it was still obviously ink on paper. He sent it to Deadpool.

_[shit idk]_

_[a book]_

Peter blinked at his screen. That was the fastest reply he'd ever gotten from anyone. Had Deadpool been waiting for him to text?

[Noooope. It's more boring than that.]

_[but books are pretty damn boring]_

[Take that back!]

_[lol sure u little nerd]_

_[okay the newspaper]_

[Nope.]

_[then idk my last guess is some smutty fanfic abt us ^^]_

[No!]

[And shut up there isn't any fanfictions about us.]

_[sure there is]_

_[ur a hero n im a villain theres ppl out there who dig that shit]_

[You're not a villain.]

It took Deadpool a full minute to answer.

_[anyway what is it]_

[Oh right! It's my homework.]

_[ur in school??????]_

[College.]

_[how old are u]_

[Twenty-three.]

_[oh okay ur legal]_

_[that wouldve made my crush on u real awkward]_

Peter blushed.

He wasn't dumb. He was very much aware that Deadpool had a crush on him – or, well, on Spider-man. He hadn't exactly made a secret of it, either. Especially when they met. Deadpool had made constant sexual comments that had been the main reason for Spider-man's annoyance with him. Still, the merc just saying it to him like that was a surprise.

It shouldn't have been, though. Deadpool was pretty straight-forward.

Before Peter could send a text back, a picture was loading on his screen. It was something black, sort of shiny, and something was engraved in it, but Peter couldn't see what it was.

[Is it like an x-box or a playstation or something?]

_[nopety i was actually gonna send a pic of my playstation but id have to get up n im lazy]_

[Ha ha.]

[Okay uhm...]

Peter looked around the living room for inspiration on what it might be. Since he'd moved out of his aunt May's house, he was living in a small crappy apartment. He didn't like his neighbors and the building was shit, but he'd managed to make a home of it and quite liked the privacy living on his own assured him with. He didn't have to be afraid to have one of his web shooters or anything out on a table somewhere.

[Is it a camera?]

_[do i seem like the kind of person to have a camera around]_

_[i can take pics with my phone]_

[Right.]

_[one more guess Spidey-boy]_

Peter bit his lip, looking around the room again. What else could it really be?

He tried to imagine Deadpool's apartment. It was apparently crappy. People were always fighting, Deadpool could constantly hear gunshots and Peter imagined he didn't exactly keep it clean eith-

Wait.

[It's not a gun, is it?]

_[ding ding we have a winner]_

[Did you really just send me a picture of a gun?!]

_[yea]_

_[why]_

_[whats wrong baby boy]_

Peter shook his head and set his phone to the side, ignoring when it kept buzzing. He should probably just keep focusing on his homework now.

He'd almost forgotten who he was talking to, for a second there.

* * *

“Spider-man!”

Spider-man landed on the rooftop where he usually spent some time after patrolling and sighed when he saw that Deadpool was already there. Part of him wanted to just leave, but another part of him couldn't do it. He didn't want to keep up this silence between himself and the merc. They hadn't talked in three days, and before that they'd stopped their texting game for a while already, only ever talking when they ran into each other at night.

“Hey Deadpool,” he said, sitting down on the edge of the roof like always. “What's up?”

“I lost my job.”

“Your job?” Spider-man asked. He was surprised. “Isn't killing people your job?”

Deadpool shrugged. “I figured I ought to try something else. But I went to work, right? And my boss was all, like 'Wade why weren't you here yesterday? Bad Deadpool!' but I was kind of... well, otherwise occupied, the day before that, which I said, and then I got fired.”

“What were you doing?” Spider-man asked. He wondered if Deadpool had noticed that he'd revealed his name, but he didn't seem to, so Spider-man said nothing.

“The boxes were... not so nice.”

“Oh.”

“Anyway.” Deadpool cleared his throat. “So I had a fun week.”

“I'm sorry.”

“It's alright, baby boy.”

Spider-man looked over at Deadpool. The merc was looking at him. He could feel his intense gaze through both their mask, making his face burn with heat. Since they'd last texted, Deadpool had been calling him 'baby boy' more and more often – during the few times that they did talk, that is. It started as one of the many nicknames. Now, it seemed to be the only nickname left.

“Why did you want to try something else?” Spider-man wondered, quickly looking away. It just didn't make sense to him. It seemed very out of character for Deadpool to try and be anything but a mercenary.

“Well, you don't like guns, so.”

Spider-man's eyes widened.

Deadpool was trying to stop being a mercenary... because of him?

“I have to go,” he quickly stood up and swung away. As an afterthought, he yelled “See you later!” over his shoulder.

* * *

Peter had been holed up in his apartment for almost a day now, which was longer than he generally ever spent at home. If he wasn't out being Spider-man, he had to attend college classes or take pictures for the newspaper.

But it was weekend, which meant no school. He could go out and take pictures, but he didn't want to, and he was currently ignoring his Spider-man duties as well.

Deadpool – Wade, was constantly in his head. He couldn't help but think about him. About his stupid pet names, and his jokes, and all the times he'd had Spider-man's back. Sure, he was a bit crazy, but Peter was beginning to feel like he was a friend.

But he didn't want to be friends.

Not because he didn't want Wade around. On the contrary: he just thought being friends wouldn't be nearly enough. Not now that he was really getting to know the man. He wanted to be able to get to know him even better, and watch movies with him, and cuddle on the couch, and kiss him...

On the morning of the second day, after a night off no sleep, he made his decision.

He grabbed his phone, opened the camera app and zoomed in on his cheek, taking a picture. He sent it to Wade.

This time, there wasn't an instant reply, but when Wade finally did send something back, it was like they'd never stopped playing.

_[it looks like skin]_

[It is skin, but that was not what I was going for.]

_[plz tell me its ur dick]_

[It's not.]

_[shoot]_

_[knee]_

[No.]

_[wait did skin count as a turn]_

[Nah keep guessing.]

_[..foot?]_

Peter grinned.

Taking a selfie was awkward. He wasn't very good at it in the first place, but after not particularly coming out of bed for anything other than food during the last twenty-four hours, he looked kind of... well, his hair was messy and he was already growing some five o'clock shadow. He'd looked better.

But he was going to lose his nerve for sure. It was now or never.

[Can I trust you?]

_[of course u can trust me baby boy]_

He sent the picture.

[Your name is Wade, right? My name is Peter.]

Wade didn't reply for the longest time. Peter wasn't sure if he was speechless or if he hadn't seen the message yet. Or maybe he just didn't want to talk to his idol 'Spider-man' anymore now that he knew there was a normal guy behind the mask.

_[baby boy ur gorgeous]_

[Well maybe you should come over and do something about it.]

Another long pause.

_[send me ur address then]_


End file.
